Look how far I've come

Was watching House and Scrubs the other day and it had me thinking about my life. Now I am not a doctor and my work deals in no way what so ever with the medical world (except for occasionally videotaping a person going to a medical appointment) but there was the briefest of times (I'm talking Planck length time span here) where I was actually heading towards that direction. My family had great and high hopes that I would be the first doctor in the family and go on to achieve great fortune and success...

Yeah that didn't turn out to well...

Despite the assurance of my family that I could pursue any career I wanted, I still knew that deep down inside they were saddened when I chose to deviate from their set plan. It's just that gut feeling I got when I went to the family functions immediately after the bomb shell. Don't get me wrong...the love was still there but there was something palpable there beneath the surface.

My ideal career was to have something with meaning that would help people. Individuals and communities alike. Something noble. I'm currently working as a private investigator checking out workers compensation claims. Ok it's not the most noble of jobs I know but I try to look at the big picture and how I'm helping people through what I do. I'm out there sweating it out in a van to bust people who are trying to abuse the system and bleed money from other hard working people. Through our (PI's) work, we try hard to keep insurance and health care costs down by catching those who would try and cheat the system.

When you look at it like that, the work can sound pretty noble right? By keeping that mind set, it makes my job a little easier and a lot more rewarding. Not everyone can wake up at 4 in the morning to drive 2 hours to a case, sit in a hot van with no AC for 8 hours and only get 2 minutes of tape as the person walks down their driveway to get the mail and bend over to pick up a box. It's not a glamorous life by far. The hours and long and the pay isn't that great (low hourly offset by triple digit hours of work a pay period) but it's something that needs to be done.

After coming to this realization, I cracked open another beer, kicked my feet up and watched as Hugh Laurie insulted his staff and saved another life.

Cheers.

It's The Way...

I catch her looking at me and smiling when we're driving.
She responds to my touch when I curl up with her at night.
She whispers "I love you" when I pull her close in bed.

Small things like that let me know how loved I am by her. Those little things make all the difference in the world. I've also been smiling so much that my cheeks actually HURT! Definitely a good hurt though. I can't recall a time I ever smiled that much. Such a wonderful feeling.

My last post I talked about going to a costume party and to have pics up. Well I pretty much failed about getting those up here! My bad. I could say that I'll make it up by posting them up soon or posting them with pics from the Halloween party we're going to but lets be honest...we all know that's as likely as Ron Paul winning the elections from write in votes!

I'm currently in a state of confusion. Confusion about where I'm at and how I want to move forward in life. My job right now is very interesting and challenging, but I hate working 110 hours a pay period making a little more than my last job where I worked 80 hours. I want to keep this job but the pay is so low right now. I want to tough it out but my current financial situation will not allow that. I need to find a good paying job and find it fast. I've even considered taking on jobs that normaly wouldn't appeal to me as long as the money is there. I just have to keep looking and hope for the best...

Went to a few weddings lately. I must say they have been an absolute blast! I forgot how fun they can be (especially after a few drinks!). I kinda think Theary and I would be good wedding crashers since we're pretty social when drunk. =P Can't wait for the next one! Plus it's a good reason for me to get all dressed up and put on something other than cargo shorts. :P

That's about it for now. No promises for when the next post will be! =P

Cheers.

Few & Far Between

Well now hello there old friend. It has been a while since I've come to you and talked about what is going on with my life. The key question in my mind always seems to be...where do I begin? Through all these thoughts it becomes quite difficult to pick out one among the mass.

Work. Seems as good a place to start as any. There are times when it really gets me down. The long hours upon hours of sitting there boiling and baking in the heat can drive some people insane. It's easy to see how a lot of people can't make it through. I do feel determined to go through this as long as I can. I want to be able to say I did it for the 2000 hours needed now let me test and get certified. After a few years I want to be able to open my own business and be independent. I'm going to work hard so I can start something good for US.

That turned out to be a nice segue way didn't it? So things between us have been oh so wonderful lately. I can't believe I can be loved this much and love so much in return. Although I'm still not used to being called "handsome", "attractive", "sexy" so much. But oh does it make me so giddy to hear!! Though things haven't always been perfect I've let her know that I'm here for the long haul and I'm not going anywhere any time soon. There is just something there that I have never felt before. For lack of a better word...it's beautiful. Like I stated earlier though there are insecurities and issues that do crop up but we plow into them head first and concentrate on knocking down any walls that could come between us.

In exactly two months I'll be hitting my 26th birthday. I am nowhere near where I wanted to be in life but for the first time, I've actually come to accept it. I should not live upon the notion where I can be the same person that I wanted to be when I made those plans. There have been changes and bumps in the road but now I can look at who I am in relation to where I want to be. No more living up to ideals and best intentions. Time to be me and see where I can go being me.

Back tracking for a moment, I've applied for a second job working as a barback for my favorite local dive bar. I'm hoping to hear back from them in the near future. It's nothing glorious but it's some extra money which I could always use. I've got places to go and bills to be paid! If I don't get it, I may look at going to another bar over in Universal City where I hit it off with the bartender or back to the library for some extra cash. I just need to find a way to get extra money to save since it's tough helping my mom out with her big bills at times. I figure the extra cash should put me at a point where I can move out and be on my own.

An ex asked me to move in with her. It's been almost 7 years since we last talked and she drops this bomb on me. We've been chatting lately and catching up on what's gone down in life but I don't think this is something I'd want to do. It just seems...off. I wouldn't feel comfortable if the tables were turned so I don't think I'm going to put myself in a situation like that.

I know that this is a lot of mindless drivel to most of you but since I don't keep an actual journal...this is all I have. Thank you for bearing with me.

Foggy Mornings...

So I figured I'd start this early morning with a much needed blog.

I've been spending a lot of time with Theary lately. It's been really nice having her crash at my place so often. It's great holding her in my arms and watching her sleep. Or waking up to see her eyes barely open but watching me and smiling. Very comforting. Even when I toss and turn it's great to feel her rub my back or scalp till I fall back asleep. Although this damn hot weather makes it tough to cuddle!

A few weeks ago my Mom suggested that we should all get a place together! That definitely came out of nowhere but I'm pretty sure it's a good sign my mom really likes her. :P I'm not going to do it though. I'd rather move in just with Theary by ourselves or with another person we know (which may end up happening).

My friend has dropped the idea of moving to NYC later this year. I will admit that I am slightly relieved because I want to continue my PI work till I am certified. Then from there I'd like to look at possibly opening my own branch. In that vein things are going ok. The month has been very slow minute wise but I've been working a lot of hours. 110 hours on this last pay period. Craziness!

I've been reconnecting with a few friends that I have lost along the way. It feels so good to have them back in my life. I do miss talking to my friend from Canada though. There was a time where we practically chatted everyday while she was over in London. She would jokingly call me the work husband. Now she's back at home in Toronto and moved in with her boyfriend. Seems like they're doing great and I ask her about the live in life every chance I get so I can get a glimpse of what's to come. Our chatting is limited now to once or twice every other week or so. Pretty tough with our conflicting schedules but hopefully Theary and I can go up to visit sometime next year. Would be nice to see her and her man again especially since I've only seen her ONCE in the five years I've known her!! hahaha

Also reconnected with my close friend from when I worked at the Library. So glad I finally got around to this. What's great is that she knew that someday I'd come back into her life. Good to know she had some faith in our friendship!

So much more to say and go into but unfortunately I am restricted by the horrible HORRIBLE battery life on this laptop. Costume party coming up this saturday so I'll try and have pics
up the following week....HA!

More Changes??

"Lets move to New York."
"Really?"
"Yeah you're like the only straight guy I could live with."
"Sure why not."

So we're contemplating moving out to NYC together. It'll take time to plan it out and look for jobs and such. This could be something pretty interesting. I've found a few jobs that I'll be applying for with different government agencies. This is all speculation at this point but we're gonna see what we can do to make it a reality.

So it may be me, Lisa and Theary all living together. There are many pro's and con's involved so we're going to try and take the time to see if this is a good potential move for us all.

I have loved NYC from the first time I ever walked around. It would be great to live there even if only for a little while.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Yeah it has been over four months since I've touched upon this blog site. A lot ended up taking place between then and now. I broke up with my girlfriend of over four and a half years and started a new relationship with someone I knew way back in high school. I have left my old job and started a new one as a Private Investigator.

As odd as it sounds the breakup wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I'm guessing it's because deep in my mind I had a feeling it wouldn't last. She even admitted that it's been on the decline since last year. We could both feel it so subconsciously I was already bracing for the impact. That's not to say there was no pain at all. Believe me there was but with the help of a few close people I managed to push through and bring myself out of the fire and rise again.

So far things with this new relationship have been very different than how they have been in the past. All of the traits that I was so desperately seeking are here in front of me. There are no issues of intimacy and passion. For once I actually feel like I am being loved more than being reminded. She has a very giving soul which is something I've needed in my life. The affection is all there and I don't have to ask for it or try hard to seek it out. It's just....present.

There is also a deep level of support that comes from her. I know that no matter what I want to embark on or try, she will be there to back me up. She is another creative soul like I am and because of that, there is a deep connection about creativity and what we want to bring to the world. No more fights, arguments, or disapproving looks because of my music. Now it's encouragement, support, and a love for what I do.

One of the things that I love most about this all is that I can finally be who I really am all the time. I am no longer the Mike when he's around his GF vs. the Mike when he's around his friends. I can be who I am without apologies or explanations. She accepts it all. That was one trait that was really hard for me to admit and acknowledge. She has ingrained herself amongst my friends more deeply in two weeks than the four and a half years of my past relationship.

At first I was very worried that everyone would look upon her as "the rebound" but so far that has not been the case. Everyone can see how happy she makes me and how great we are together. There isn't a need to try and cater to each other's wants and needs. We are two functional people in a very functional relationship. I don't feel pressured to go and spend time with her and she knows that. She gives me space when asked and I reciprocate.

I could go on and on but I'm trying not to ramble too much. My main point about all this is just that am so happy to have realized that love and relationships can be this easy.

I am indescribably happy with her. =)

The Chalet

So I've decided that for my first review, I should focus on the bar that has held my heart ever since I first step foot through it's doors. Now everyone has a bar that they know they can fall back to and never be disappointed. A bar that no matter where the night takes you, you can go there and always have a great time. For me, that bar would be The Chalet in Eagle Rock.

Now before it was known as The Chalet, this bar was called Toppers and was one of the more seedier bars in the area. You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind of bar where no matter what time you walk in you're going to find a) a biker, b) a burnt out cougar, c) the town drunk or d) all of the above. Well this place was a definite d choice. 11am or 11pm you'd find the same crowd night after night.

However this was all to change once the place was gutted and redecorated. The Chalet was born and with it came a different breed of drinkers. Hipsters, college students, artists and many others from the surrounding area had finally found what they were looking for! The crowd inside is lively and talkative and the most common thing you'll find is that people generally congregate in groups here. And it's a good spot to come with a large group to throw back a few drinks. Just don't do what I did and LITERALLY throw a drink on yourself...damn Irish car bombs...

Being a semi regular here means I know how to navigate around some of the problems that newcomers face. The parking lot next to the building is almost always full and the plaza a block over is religious with their towing practices. Street parking on Vincent or Townsend will always be your best bet. The bouncers although tall and imposing are very friendly. Don't be afraid to ask how the nights goin or shoot the shit while getting your ID out.

Now that you're inside the best bet is to split up. Have someone look for seats or standing room while the other party gets the drinks. The bartenders are friendly yet busy so know what you want or don't leave them hanging for too long. A plus side to the friendly bartenders are the heavy hands they use to pour the alcohol. Tip them well for making it a little stiffer than the norm. It benefits everyone in the end.

All the music for the place is sourced from one jukebox that is located near the entrance. They have a GREAT selection of classic and indie rock that provides a good soundtrack for the night. It can get slightly loud so you'll have to pack in tight or speak up to be heard. One of the reasons why it's so loud is because there are so many people there.

This brings me to my next point. Show up early if coming in a large group! There are some great couches and a wraparound couch along some of the corners and it's a great place to situate yourself for a night of drinking and story telling. The fireplace will also help to take off that cold chill that followed you in. That in combination with the drinks should keep you toasty all night!

So despite the loud atmosphere and the slightly pricey drinks (hell it's not as bad some other bars "elevate" themselves to be), as long as you know the ins and outs you'lll definitely be treated to a great time at this local watering hole. Hell if you go there enough you're most likely going to run into me!

a quick pic from one of my one of my recent outtings there:

And so it begins...

So here I am. Starting fresh and new. This site will most likely be used as an extension of my Yelp profile used for reviews and pictures as well as random rambling.

It's going to take time to settle into a groove so bear with me on it all. I can't promise that it's going to be an epic journey filled with tender and sweet moments balanced out by poignant and bitter realities...but I can promise to be honest here.

Your comments, for better or worse...will be appreciated since it means that I'm not alone and someone is reading what I have to say.

Cheers.