Tuesday, June 3, 2008

A Breath of Fresh Air

Yeah it has been over four months since I've touched upon this blog site. A lot ended up taking place between then and now. I broke up with my girlfriend of over four and a half years and started a new relationship with someone I knew way back in high school. I have left my old job and started a new one as a Private Investigator.

As odd as it sounds the breakup wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I'm guessing it's because deep in my mind I had a feeling it wouldn't last. She even admitted that it's been on the decline since last year. We could both feel it so subconsciously I was already bracing for the impact. That's not to say there was no pain at all. Believe me there was but with the help of a few close people I managed to push through and bring myself out of the fire and rise again.

So far things with this new relationship have been very different than how they have been in the past. All of the traits that I was so desperately seeking are here in front of me. There are no issues of intimacy and passion. For once I actually feel like I am being loved more than being reminded. She has a very giving soul which is something I've needed in my life. The affection is all there and I don't have to ask for it or try hard to seek it out. It's just....present.

There is also a deep level of support that comes from her. I know that no matter what I want to embark on or try, she will be there to back me up. She is another creative soul like I am and because of that, there is a deep connection about creativity and what we want to bring to the world. No more fights, arguments, or disapproving looks because of my music. Now it's encouragement, support, and a love for what I do.

One of the things that I love most about this all is that I can finally be who I really am all the time. I am no longer the Mike when he's around his GF vs. the Mike when he's around his friends. I can be who I am without apologies or explanations. She accepts it all. That was one trait that was really hard for me to admit and acknowledge. She has ingrained herself amongst my friends more deeply in two weeks than the four and a half years of my past relationship.

At first I was very worried that everyone would look upon her as "the rebound" but so far that has not been the case. Everyone can see how happy she makes me and how great we are together. There isn't a need to try and cater to each other's wants and needs. We are two functional people in a very functional relationship. I don't feel pressured to go and spend time with her and she knows that. She gives me space when asked and I reciprocate.

I could go on and on but I'm trying not to ramble too much. My main point about all this is just that am so happy to have realized that love and relationships can be this easy.

I am indescribably happy with her. =)


Allison said...

It's pretty amazing what a new relationship can make you feel. i'm happy for you that you've found happiness, but I gues i'm wondering if these feelings will last or if it's some neurohormones in your brain that are just throwing you off after a few years of inactivity? good luck either way.
-allison (youre_a_smelly_thing on xanga)

leslie said...

Hey Mike, I apologize for not being there like I used to be in the past. Apparently a lot has happened in your life. I'm sorry that your relationship broke up but I am glad that you're happy once again. Good luck with this relationship. There's nothing better than having the support of your significant other. :-)

skraggle said...

That has to be the best descriptions of a healthy relationship I've ever read.

Sounds like you're both really lucky.